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My name is Dug, I have just met you and I love you!
Dug (from the Pixar animation "Up") JakobWeiq 伟強  |
25 February 2010, 2/25/2010 10:24:00 PM
back then, with a decided heart, trembling hand n shaky (index) finger, i dial the number, n waited for the biggest thing in my (teenage) life to go in directions i'd calcuated b4hand.. thgh i knew it will definitely go 2 ways.. wait, 2 and a half ways, with the 1/2 being wat all guys dreamt of. thinking back, i wasn't sure why im attracted to her. was it her angelic girlish look, her character, or its just me? i rem the thrill of getting her number from her classmate... yeah, i was thrilled. with no handphones then, the only way to talk to her from home was to call her home. n im always hogged the phone during certain time in the night. i could laugh about how i always ask the same question when she receive the receiver fr her siblings (and sometimes, parents), how i always trying to think abt wat to say, causing typically long silence........ n refusing to end the call when she really wanted to watch TV. i had too like other girls i'd met. i meant, honestly, they r the type i like. hard to deny, its easy for me to like girls that r the type i like. but, as a young boy behaving like a plank floating on a river, my decisions r not dependable on my logic, but rather by my "feelings of love"... so i literally crush the friendship between me n these girls......... actually 2. she is the only one, n last one i shared the awkward and heart-pounding conversation.. the only one thats still in a (special) place of my heart. its not we r no longer friends.. but her key sentence(s) from the conversation had always made me quieten down n....... just think about my life, as of the time after the conversation. not trying to sound philosophical.. period. every time i see her, i will quieten down n patiently wait for her next action or words. definitely i not forcing her to let things go wat i see is best for me. now if i wld do that years b4, i had definitely crush another friendship.. which i had done with the 2 female friends. i can say i almost crush this friendship. so after these years, her words still had values.. but i do not meant in a obsessive way... they just sort of special with her voice. u can say im in love. i say im not (........partly true) ermm becos i see love between a man n a woman as something that requires time, maturity.... etc... agreements, n, commitments. true love (btween a man and woman)to me.... not only meant the Eros.. its the all... "everything" of love. but.....! im not making it hard for myself. i mean, i wanted to do so many things. but, i wanted also to let them come naturally. being with someone for life, is one thing im not ready yet. i do not know so much about her, whats her favourite food, whats her fav. drinks, whats her fav. animals, what r her dreams, her aspirations, what she knows abt me. all in all. lets take things one step @ a time. |
theboymind
Not all treasure's silver and gold, mate.
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